Every new year is a new beginning….and a new opportunity.
When we allow ourselves to take a step back and examine what we have learned, it is then that we can truly take advantage of the opportunities that lie ahead.
The process begins with self-examination, which is a practice of self-awareness that can occur through deep self-reflection. This is not the same as overthinking or self-judgment.
Self-reflection helps us better understand ourselves, our thoughts, our actions, and the motivations behind them. It allows us to gain new perspectives and learn from our past to move forward into the future.
While self-reflection is healthy and helps us grow, overthinking or self-judgment will hold us back. Overthinking is dwelling on the past and worrying about things that have not happened yet. And self-judgment will put you down for sure.
Cultivating self-awareness instead builds our resilience.
As we reflect over the last two years, we can better understand setbacks and shortcomings and see opportunities as they unfold. We can appreciate our strengths as we face challenges head-on.
We can all agree that 2020 & 2021 have been two of the most challenging years we have ever faced. Many have experienced deep suffering, tragedy, illnesses, heartbreak, and death. However, in my experience, deep suffering is almost always accompanied by the opportunity for change and Transformation as long as you allow yourself to be open to it.
Change is absolute. Nothing in life remains static. Everything changes – our age, our job, our relationships, the date on the calendar, the weather, our moods and emotions, our health, our opinion on things – change is a positive indicator that we are keenly alive.
However, human beings are naturally afraid of change. The fear of change can paralyze even the most well-intentioned individual, and fear that paralyzes you impedes resilience and growth. On the other hand, transformation is a decision you make despite the fear.
F E A R: FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL
While the last two years brought about so much fear and uncertainty, it certainly gave us a new perspective on critical and systemic challenges, injustices, discrimination, and social inequalities that many people thought had long since been resolved.
On a personal level, the pandemic made us rethink our priorities, and most importantly, it changed the way we think about the future.
Yes, we might have the same goals to live our best lives, but the way we’ll get there has changed.
2020 & 2021 have forced us to face our fears, be vulnerable, and be naked in our inner mirror. Many felt compelled to re-examine and re-shape their lives as we became aware of our fragility and the ever-changing nature of things.
We have realized that change is the only constant, while Transformation is truly our choice.
We can either choose to dwell in the past, wanting to go back to a “normal” that no longer exists, or we can choose to recalibrate, rethink, adapt, and create our own version of a “new normal” that works for us.
The most searched word on Google in 2021 was “healing,” which reveals the level of suffering and pain that we have faced this year. Which is why these trying times demand nothing short of Transformation.
To get there we must first accept that Transformation is not possible without healing. If we want to transform, we must take the time to heal. Healing from our past traumas, deep hurts, obsolete ideas, and worldviews that are dividing us and fueling hatred.
As we heal, we transform; as we transform, we can let go.
Let go of those obsolete ideas that no longer hold truth. Let go of the rigid mindsets. Let go of what is no longer serving you like self-judgment, harsh criticism, lack of self-acceptance, and diminished self-worth.
Let go of those toxic relationships that are leaving you drained, angry, and sad. Let go of that boring job that sucks the life out of you. Let go of that family member who constantly puts you down or the friend who takes advantage of your sense of service with no regard for your boundaries and well-being.
An awareness of these toxic behaviors, thoughts, and relationships happens when we look back and self-reflect. We are finally able to see that there is no point in self-sacrifice.
We are left with the hard truth that we can only love others to the extent that we love ourselves.
Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:39). Yet, we usually stay in loving our neighbor; however, if you pay close attention to the phrase, the word “as” implies that you can only love your neighbor if you love yourself.
Brene Brown makes a great point in more modern terms: “Love without boundaries becomes resentment. Kindness without boundaries becomes resentment.”
The year 2022 is the year of breaking open –
the year where we pick up all the pieces, glue them back together to transform ourselves,
and become more aware, more connected, more flexible, and more at peace with ourselves and others.
